April fools

At the risk of sounding like the worst parent ever I am going to admit, I really love that one day a year where it is okay to make your kids cry. Okay, that sounds pretty awful, but here is how I see it. I listen to whining, mocking, fighting, crying, talking back every day of the year. I've earned the right to trick Talan out of donuts that he had been waiting to eat for over 12 hours, or to fill the toothpaste with green tinted mustard. And it is surprising how accomplished I feel after pulling off a well thought out prank. 

 I still don't understand Ashton. After a morning of knowing it was April Fools day, knowing I was coming for him at some point, noticing his toothbrush looked a little different (I had put food coloring on it, but alas he noticed and got a new one.), I thought as he said, "this toothpaste smells like pickled relish." he would have figured it out. I couldn't even stand near him because I couldn't fight the laughter from this kid who seemed to be un-prankable. For sure he was going to ask if his odd smelling toothpaste was an april fools joke. Instead he threw caution to the wind and started brushing. Moments later, with huge eyes and very shallow breathing, he realized he was brushing his teeth with an unknown substance that was for sure not toothpaste. He hates mustard.

I thought I was getting off scott free. Then we went to the park, and a friend of ours told Ashton he needed to step his game up. He could not let a mom win the prank war. So that is what he did with a roll of duck tape in hand. That is my kind of kid. 

At the end of the day, I would like to say I won, but I have no idea. There was an ongoing prank extravaganza in our house. Ashton's best prank of the day was waiting until the evening hours rolled around, and I was tired, and done with the day, to start his seemingly never ending run of April Fools Fun. 

He did get the last word as he left his phone outside my bedroom door with an extremely annoying alarm set to go off at 1030.  Nice one kid....nice one.

Haircut butcher

Had I wanted my child to have a bowl cut not only would I have been competent enough to accomplish that at home, but also I would have not said, "just a slight trim so it is out of his eyes, but I want to keep his hair long."

I knew as soon as she made the first cut it was not going to turn out well, but that is the no turning back point. I look forward to it growing out and in the mean time will look for someone who isn't scissor happy.

Looks comfy

This is what happens when I don't get home before noon. 

Syphr is forced to sleep standing up due to pure exhaustion. 

RIP Chappie

We love Chappie. Over the last 5 years he has been part of the family, always getting us where we need to go. He never complained. Yet, there I was. Staring at a gauge that boldly said 10.4 mpg, next to a bill for just over $3000 worth of repairs our lovely Chappie needed. Ultimately, not until a few tears were shed, Brad and I decided it was time to put Chappie down. I assume this is what it is like to put a family pet to sleep. We went out for one last Chappie hug, plus an extra for Brad, and drove him to his new owners. 

At this point no auto can ever replace Chappie, but alas we have to have something to drive, so this is our new baby:

                                      

She (seems like a girl, right?) is a 2012 Toyota Camry Hybrid. While I do miss Chappie, I have yet to see 10.4 mpg on the gauge which is quite nice. It is more like 35-40mpg. There are some things to get used to yet. The push button start is the biggest. Just today I accidentally left the car running.....yes, I left the car on....while Syphr had his hour long baby class. But, in my defense, this car seriously makes no noise when idling. When I say no noise, I really mean it is complete silence. Because I'm used to Chappie's hum I guess my brain thought the car was off. Luckily, there was no way to steal it since the doors were locked, and I had the key fob in my purse which would have stopped the engine if someone would have put it in reverse. Overall, it is quite a zippy car, fun, and just what our family needs. Now she just needs a name so she can be part of the family too. With all this said, my apologies if you're coming to visit us and Brad is here you will have to rent your own car.

Strange episodes of a pre-pre teen

There are so many things about nine year old boys that are strange to me. When you have no brothers you might find yourself calling your mother in law often to verify your child does not have a few screws loose.

Last night he came charging downstairs, laughing hysterically, to demand a photo shoot after he had the brilliant idea to wear his shirt as pants and shorts as a shirt. I have yet to speak to my mother in law about this episode, but judging from his track record of odd behavior, I'm going to declare this normal for a nine year old with too much time on his hands.

Cherry Blossoms

I almost skipped it this year, but I'm so glad we went. Even with boys who don't really care about pink flowering trees, it was worth running late on dinner and bed time.

We had to stop at just about every bench so Syphr could take a picture with his beloved baby.  On our walk he kept  saying, "look baby." He sure loves that stuffed piece of plastic. 

We crossed by this really awesome tree that had a perfect sitting branch. Ashton couldn't resist. 

Syphr was saying, "HI DUCK! Quack, Quack!"

There were tons of low hanging long branches perfect for Ashton to swing on....which he did....every time.

Now that the day is just about over, I can say it was a great trip. I would have missed out had I not gone.  Mostly, I'm just glad we found a parking spot, it was not insanely crowded like the last time I went, and no one fell in the tidal basin. Jumping into the Potomac makes me cringe. 

Best winter ever!

Chicken hair

To say Syphr is having a bad hair day is an understatement. All I know is the poor guys hair had to get soaked in the kitchen sink before it would even consider laying down.

Inquiring minds would like to know, though. How would someone have to sleep to get hair like this?

Today's events in a check list

✔  Attend Kindergarten orientation

✔  Be offended when the principles answer to the question "My child has a severe peanut allergy, how would that be handled here?" is to throw her hands in the air and say, "we will handle it well" followed by a chuckle as if she had started her career as a stand up comedian. 

✔Hear the wanna be comedian principle say, "Mrs Studach, can you stay and talk to peanut allergy over here." Once again offended. 

✔Cry and nearly hyperventilate as soon as I sat down with the school nurse over the fear that I might have to homeschool Talan. 

✔Have an hour long conversation with the awesome school nurse about all of my concerns and came up with a great allergy plan that I will run by the doctor so he can check for holes. 

✔Learn that nurses are not just fancy robotic bandaid dispensers.

✔Realize it is a bit sad when Talan doesn't start Kindergarten for 7 months, yet I am on speed dial basis with his future school nurse. 

✔Get pulled over for doing an illegal U-turn...except there were not any signs telling me that u-turn was illegal. I like to think I got out of a ticket due to my very fashionable shirt, but really it was probably because I had stress ball written all over my face. 

✔Celebrate Talan as he chugs his way on to 5. Half way there! To celebrate we had Krispy Kreme donuts, streamers, and party hats. He was not amused when his class sang happy birthday, but he loved when his teacher sang it in spanish. 

✔Come home to collapse on the couch, and hope no small children need anything for the rest of the evening. This was not the case, but they at least let me get a cat nap.

iPhone debate winner

Ashton tried his hardest. He really wanted that iPhone, obviously enough to make a web diagram.

Even when 99.9% of people were against him he pressed forward and argued his way to success. 

That's right folks. I might have landed on some of your worst parent of the year lists, but my almost 10 year old has an iPhone. 

Before you go defriending me, I can say that this phone is so much more safe and secure than his previous. He can only send and receive calls, and texts from numbers that I have okayed, he can not download anything without a password, I can track his every move with the GPS locator, and he has a safe internet browser set up just for kid use. Can't lose with those options. 

So, here he is, the happiest almost 10 year old on the planet: